as the end of this pregnancy nears, i started thinking back on it and all the kind of crazy things i have had going on. obviously, first and foremost our baby is healthy and that is the most important thing but this time around it has been a lot more difficult than the first!
first off being pregnant with a kid is SO MUCH DIFFERENT! holy crap did i underestimate that! no more napping whenever i wanted, unless g was, and just hanging out lol. no way i am bossed around daily by my little crazy girl! then the crazy stuff started happening...gia broke her leg when i was around 10 weeks and the next day my mom had to have surgery on her brain. they both ended up ok but it was one of the most stressful weeks of my life :( then around 15 weeks i had a weird dizzy, confused, disoirented spell and spent the night in the ER getting a cat scan, ugh. then i was sick non stop for about 3 months, ending with bronchitis which equaled me using an inhaler and not being able to do much, luckily that went away and i haven't been sick since (fingers crossed!!!)
i went yesterday for my normal (now weekly) checkup and everything seemed fine. she was checking the heartbeat and i could tell she was listening intently. she got a different doppler then showed me how the heart was beating irregularly. she was like now you need to go to the hospital to get monitored... uh ok. i started to freak a little. she told me not to worry that it was probably fine but she wanted to be sure. we spent the afternoon in labor and delivery, they monitored me for an hour and said everything looked ok, good news. they took blood for testing and sent me home. but my doc wanted me to get a fetal echocardiogram today just in case. so back to the hospital we went for the ultrasound. after over an hour of monitoring, they saw the irregularity once, with the doctor. he explained it to us that there could be a few reasons why it was happening and none of them were serious. so we will keep an eye on it with my weekly checkups making sure the heart rate is normal and when he is born it will be noted on the pediatrician's records who check him out. if it persists he will have an EKG and go from there but most of the time these things clear up by birth. also, most of us probably have irregular heartbeats here and there but wouldn't know it. SO, i am super super thankful and happy that everthing is ok and we will just be sure in the coming weeks that he is fine.
i know none of these things have been major major and considering all the things that could go wrong during this pregnancy, i am not complaining. but it has also been hard on me mentally. i don't know if i was depressed or what but the past few months i just felt so BLAH. so not myself. on edge all the time, like any little thing with gia was driving me nuts, i wanted to kill john and for no reason, etc. the past 2 weeks i have felt a lot better. i don't know if my hormones were out of wack, if i am scared about having 2 babies, if i get sad about my mom and keep it all hidden away, i do not know but it sucked. needless to say, i think i am ready to be done being pregnant! yet at the same time i am so torn, love my little family of 3 and my gg especially. will i be able to give them both enough time and love??? how in the hell am i going to handle a newborn and a toddler? will i ever sleep again? plus i am feeling pretty sure we are done with 2 kids so i am a little sad i might not ever feel kicks again or carry a baby so i am trying to not rush things and enjoy the few weeks i have left!
anyway, these are things i am feeling that i didn't want to forget! it hasn't been the easiest 8 months but it is allll worth it for my baby boy who i cannot wait to meet :)
